We got to ask a question to a first team player from FC Barcelona yesterday. During a practice session. He spoke under conditions of anonymity, as he doesn’t want it to be generally known that he is giving interviews to FCBFanDrivel now. This is what he has to say.
How does it feel playing for one of the greatest ever football teams in the world?
It’s not easy playing for FC Barcelona. First of all, you can’t throw a pea pod in the dressing room without beaning one great player or the other. That’s very exhausting, you know. And then you would have to invest in a pair of good noise canceling headphones to avoid permanent brain damage from Dani’s DJ role in the dressing room. If you don’t win every game you play in, it could possibly be the end of the universe as we know it. You’d have to put up with Geri talking of flying penguins (Editor note: in Barcelona, no less) and Dali paintings and Greek mythology. You’d have to hide every piece of dubious fashion accessory you might own lest it becomes fodder for the next great twitter joke.
If you are not fond of pets or small children, you should be warned that the players take turns in babysitting Bojan. And in explaining the offside rule to Villa. Leo’s bright orange shoes is an exercise in avoiding distraction. Pep uses them as caution cones sometimes. Xavi and Andres do everything synchronously and complete each others sentences, it is cute at first, but it kind of freaks you out later. Finally, there is also the coach. Yes, Pep Guardiola. We love him. We want him to continue. But try controlling the urge to giggle hysterically when Pep tells you every second game that it is the most dangerous game we will ever play! I did giggle once, and Pep didn’t like it. I got Bojan duty twice that week. Yeah. But other than all that, it’s pretty much fun.
Er…okay. Thank you. Would you like to say something to FcbFanDrivel readers?
You mean you actually have readers? In that case, can I remain anonymous?