Bring on Hercules Next!

Posted: January 28, 2011 in Pep Talk
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Don't tell Villa, but I think he's setting some kind of offside record!

Yet another day, yet another manita. It could very well have been another 8-0 judging by how things were at half time against Almeria, but thankfully we didn’t get Oltra sacked this time around. It was getting to be an annoying habit for rival coaches anyway. The powerful Barca juggernaut rolls on, gaining in strength and momentum.

"It's not the Olympics, Pedrito!" she says.

On a good day, Barca is likely to score 5 goals, 2 offside goals and 1 goalpost hit (David Villa is our in-house specialist fot the latter two categories). On a bad day, they might win by a smaller margin. And if it’s not bad enough for the opposition to have to see visions of Leo, Andres, Xavi, Pedro or Villa magically springing out of rabbit holes (as Ray Hudson puts it) wherever they turn, now Barca is getting better at set pieces too! I mean, did you see the Pedro header? I always knew Pedro’s high jumps were going to come in handy some day, despite his girlfriend’s objections.

You see, BO?! I always told you it's easier to score standing up than lying down on your face!

So this Barca is not only mind-bogglingly good, but it is also improving, no doubt hypnotized by Pep into believing anything less than 200% can result in a crushing defeat that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.  Andres Iniesta is fit and raring to go, and Xavi is beginning to believe that his teammates are not joking when they say they can’t see off the back of their heads. Leo is discovering his ability to provide a few hundred assists in between planning his deluge of goals, Masche has given up on his hobby of collecting yellow cards, and Villa has been informed that the idea is to get the ball between the goalposts, and not be offside doing it (he is finding it difficult to remember both instructions at the same time, but is definitely working on it). With a bit of wisdom imparted from Messi (see pic on left), it’s only a matter of time before Bojan recovers from his stomach flu and is back to his Ibra-benching form. So bring on Hercules! And Visca Barca!

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Comments
  1. Jahnawi says:

    Guys you are awesome!! Why don’t you have more followers on twitter!! gosh you deserve to be world famous.

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