It’s obvious to Barca fans that Leo Messi and David Villa get along rather well on the field. “Leo is not only a great player” said Villa a while back, “But he makes the others look better too”. But there’s a downside to this. On that rare occasion when Leo is struck by ‘humanitis’ – that odd condition when he seems almost human despite obviously being sent from Krypton to save the footballing world, he can make others look like crap too. Which is unfortunately what happened to Villa against Hercules, for instance. The poor man didn’t even get to score his customary offside goal, and Pedro had to fill in to keep our offside record intact.
Q: So, what do you think happened?
Villa: We are not very sure to be honest. It’s either humanitis or green kryptonite.
Q: Huh? (We are not very sure we heard Villa correctly, as we were momentarily in a leopard-print-shoes induced trance).
A: I think we spotted some green kryptonite on one of those boards during training yesterday. Leo had been acting very weirdly after that. Like he kept grinning broadly and kept insisting that we call him Bojan.
Q: Gosh, that’s very odd indeed!
A: Yes, Pep didn’t like it. No. He didn’t like it at all, to keep calling Leo ‘Bojan’. I think Leo kind of snapped out of it after Xavi hit him on the head with a vase during HT yesterday.
A: Xavi claimed he heard gurgling noises and thought Leo was choking, but we have our doubts. As the captain, Xavi was very displeased. But all is well that ends well. Everything is back to normal now.
So, we are happy to report that normalcy has been restored in the Barca squad, and thanks to David Villa for his time! No more offside jokes at FCBFD. At least for today.