You know there is an important match coming up when the media goes ballistic with the silly headlines. “Barcelona Could be in a Messi” says one, the clever writer no doubt very proud of his ability to come up with puns already done to death over the years. Though I suppose you’re just asking for it with a family name like that. “He’ll Get Five Goals, No Messing!!” screams The Sun, twisting poor Masche’s words out of context. “We’ve become more macho” says Nasri, sending fans into fits of hysterical giggling. “If we win against Barcelona, we can win the championship” says Wilshere. “”I don’t expect Barça to fail. They win when they’re playing good, and when they’re not, strange things happen.” says Mourinho.Wait, what?! What’s that even supposed to mean? What strange things? Oh, that’s from Crazy Mou, never mind.
Fake interviews, ridiculous headlines and silly hype – it’s like FCB Fan Drivel on steroids! So Arsenal is missing a few attackers and FC Barcelona is missing a few defenders, and it should be an evenly matched game. Captain Puyol, who has suddenly taken to quoting Plato on twitter and is still recovering from his injury, will no doubt be there in the stands chewing his finger tips and making us all very nervous. We suppose Pique will be sitting next to him throwing sunflower seeds on unsuspecting victims, forced to sit out this one for collecting yellow cards like candies on Halloween. We find ourselves two center backs too short, the thin squad idea coming back to bite us in the behind. Gabi could fill in. Or maybe not. We are huge fans of Gabi, bless him, but not particularly of his defending skills. Maybe Jeffren can play as center back too?
We think Pep will play Busi as CB and Masche as DM (that way we have someone filling the role and keep Masche as far away from our penalty area as humanely possible). The rest of the players (Valdes, Alves, Abidal, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Villa and Pedro) are usually on auto-select, so we expect no surprises there, not even from Pep on pain medication. The only variability will come from whether he plays Maxwell or Adriano – the similarity being they are both Brazilian and have had uneven form of late, the difference being Maxwell has better hair really. Adriano is definitely faster and is a better attacking option, while Maxwell, we are told, is better at defensive duties, so there, pick and choose. So all that’s left is to pray to the Gods of football to not pull any silly tricks, keep our fingers crossed and try to avoid a myocardial infarction till after the game tomorrow. Visca Barca, as always!