On Ibra, Mourinho, Messi and New Rules

Posted: March 12, 2011 in Random Observations
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Game's over! You can get up from the bench now!

There is a rumor going around in Italian circles, started by none other than Mino Raiola, that Ibrahimovic might return to Barcelona at the end of this season and stick to us like glue over the next five years. This is no doubt triggered by Italian media reports after AC Milan’s Champions League exit comparing Ibra to a rather charismatic lamppost (sounds awfully familiar). Call us pessimistic, but we can see this getting very awkward very quickly. Perhaps if Ibra had any intentions of returning, he ought not to have talked so eloquently about plugging Pep Guardiola in the eye, but that’s all water under the bridge now. We might not be fans of Ibra, but we would hate for the Barcelona bench definition to become “long, rectangular sitting surface with a tall Swede at the end of it”. So let’s hope that was just Raiola joking. He always had a horrendous sense of humor anyway.

Don't you see the giant saucer in the sky, people?! That's the reason why we are 5 points behind!

Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho confirms that he is not stupid, which must come as some relief to Florentino Perez. It’s always nice to know that your head coach is not loony.  “I am not stupid” says Mou, and we will take his word for it. But there is no denying that he is frightfully paranoid. After blaming everyone including the referees, the linesmen, the ball boys, his team’s general manager, the rival coaches, the cook’s cat and Puyol’s pet sheep for Real Madrid’s seven five point deficit, he is now convinced the calendar people are silently plotting his downfall in their spare time. And somehow poor Iker Casillas got caught in the crossfire.

“There is a team that played in the Champions League on Tuesday and have no game in the league until the following Sunday, while another one is forced to play in Europe on Wednesday and then Saturday in the league”

Not to nitpick, but that seems a rather roundabout way of saying Barcelona has more rest days than Madrid, but whatever. What about a team forced to play a Champions League game (against Arsenal) on Tuesday after playing a league game (against Zaragoza) on Saturday? We could go around in circles arguing this point forever, but we’d rather go to the dentist for a particularly painful tooth extraction instead.

“Iker won’t be with us because he won’t be in the squad against Atletico (next weekend). If they (Barcelona) want to end the league before time, I might as well make it easy for them”

That’s frightfully gracious of Mourinho, to play without a goalkeeper just to make it easy for Barcelona. Though if Atletico played like Malaga, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Yes, blame it all on the schedule. But do remember that Real Madrid had more rest days than Barcelona before they played in the El Classico, remember the one with the manita and all that, just to put things in perspective. Next Mourinho will be saying it’s all the fault of those tiny green men from that giant spaceship parked outside Bernabeu. Maybe Mourinho and Wenger should get together and exchange notes.

I wonder if they'll glow in the dark and make squeaky sounds when I walk! I should get a pair for Bojan too!

Moving on, it appears you could get suspended for up to 6 months if you bid for Leo Messi. Not that we are complaining of course, we would be all for a rigid prison sentence for anyone who attempts to pry him away from Barcelona (Moratti, we are looking at you!). And nothing should really surprise us anymore, this coming after a ban on snoods or yellow cards for wishing your mom happy birthday. Still, you can’t help but wonder what’s next! While they’re at it, maybe they can come up with a ban on players wearing dazzlingly bright orange shoes than can also serve as a caution cone alternatives? It’s spreading like the plague. And it would save us some eye ache. Just saying.

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Comments
  1. Shahrzad says:

    I started reading your posts not so long ago & since then I’ve found them so refreshing. just wanna say thanks guys!:)

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