FC Barcelona And The Ides of March?!

Posted: March 14, 2011 in Random Observations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Messi celebrates Guardiola's 1000th day at office by nearly giving him a heart attack

It’s never a pleasant sight to see one of your most important players rolling on the ground in pain clutching his knee. We can only begin to imagine what was running through Pep Guardiola’s head at that time. Our own thoughts were restricted to a list of unprintable expletives. With Pedro out injured, Messi writhing in pain and Villa afflicted by the Ibra syndrome (the tendency to imitate lamp posts, statues, pillars or other immovable objects of your choice during the entire course of a 90 minute game), there was just Bojan left. Jeffren was not even on the bench. And that’s just for anyone who thinks it’s easy being a Barca fan. Thank heavens Bojan is on a goal scoring spree. Erm…or at least, he scored one goal. Well, he did make contact with the ball before he tumbled into the net after it. Oh, whatever.

Pep was suffering from too many good players to choose from before the Sevilla game. Macherano or Busquets? Adriano or Maxwell? Villa or Bojan? And then after the Sevilla game, it looks like we might have to borrow players from Barca B to even fill the bench for the next game. Alves has bruised his right ankle. Adriano had bruised his left leg. Maxwell has bruised his right thigh. Pedro has a groin problem and Messi has bruised his right knee. Puyol is still not fit, and Pique is…well, Pique. Please excuse us for a minute while we panic. No defense! No forwards! Getafe is going to be like Sevilla all over again!! The Abidal cloning is falling behind schedule and this “thou shalt not substitute Lionel Messi even if he is falling apart at the seams” policy is getting too ridiculous for words!! Jeffren can’t even play as forward because he is needed as right back!!  And can referees please stop denying us penalty kicks and ruling Messi’s valid goals as invalid?! And Busi, really, stop making things difficult for us, it’s not funny – if you can’t keep still in the penalty area, we’re going to have to replace you with Villa!! Rant over. Thank you for bearing with us.

Fourth yellow for picking a fight with Medel? You go, Xavi!! It's going to be difficult to top that one!

And that’s not even the gist of it! Xavi and Leo have the same number of yellow cards as Busi and Mascherano (4) – which is a yellow card away from suspension. How, you ask?! Well you might as well, because it’s like the two have a secret competition going on as to who can get the silliest yellow yet. Our personal favorite is Messi’s yellow for taking a free kick too quickly, I mean, how dumb is that?! They are no doubt learning from the master – Pinto – who can get a yellow even from the bench in a game he’s not even playing. Oh, and Valdes has four yellows too. Agreed he came up with a man of the match performance against Sevilla, but in most of the games, it’s not exactly like VV is in the thick of the action! So how does Valdes end up with four yellows exactly?

And then there’s the international break. AKA “Let’s all go play a slew of meaningless friendlies during the only week of rest and recuperation we’ll get before the end of the season”. And then come back with acute FIFA virus for the away game against Villarreal. We can only hope Del Bosque is more sensible than Batista, who will no doubt play Messi for the entire 90 minutes for both the games against USA and Costa Rica. That’s a lost cause anyway.

So, it’s on to Getafe next. As during February, let’s play everyone we have who’s not injured and hope they add up to 11. Visca Barca, as always!

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Comments
  1. Sarah says:

    Nobody can top the captions you give, i’d say!
    A truly refreshing and different take on things, i really enjoy your articles very much!

  2. Kami says:

    Always entertaining and enough to lighten my mood when it seems all is falling apart!

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