Di Maria: All we ask for from Barca is that they don't dive. Please, no diving.
MouMou: And I would like to request Pep to kindly refrain from complaining about the referees. They are only doing their job.
Ramos,Pepe: Oh and we ask for fairplay too. And good sportsmanship while we're at it. Say no to violence.
Pepe: Now what do we do with the corpse?
Marcelo: Weird. When I look at you from this close, you look all blurry.
Be careful not to look into each other's eyes. It might cause spontaneous combustion.
When Perez said "Two goals?" and I said "at least", I thought we were talking about Real Madrid.
Ramos: Okay, seriously now. Stop trying to play football. Let's all go argue with the ref instead.
Stark: Thank my lucky stars I can't understand Spanish.
Ramos: Maybe he won't score if I sit on him and hold his legs?
No such luck. And this isn't his first ever goal. He's just like this after every goal...
We still playing? I have my notes all written down for the press conference.
Mourinho: So not only are the refs, linesmen, ball boys and balls involved in this pro-Barca conspiracy, it's also the grass and goal posts, not to mention a cosmic force that wants Barca at Wembley and blah blah blah...