Our Not-So-News Roundup For The Day

Posted: May 20, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

  • “We’d like to sign Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, Cristiano Ronaldo and Cesc Fabregas” joked Mancini in a press conference a few days back. He unfortunately forgot to add “This is a joke, by the way”. Owing to the small ensuing misunderstanding, we are told Manchester City owners have already started the bidding process for the above mentioned players.
  • “We’d like to sign Cesc Fabregas” Pep is rumored to have told his inner circle, and no, this one wasn’t really meant as a joke. But we are told Rosell had a hearty laugh over it anyway. Our transfer budget this summer will be limited to 10M Euros and Xavi’s cat.
  • “AC Milan joins Barca in Fabregas Transfer Battle” says CrunchSports. The more the merrier, we say. “I will fight to keep Fabregas” says Wenger, and couples it with some emotional blackmail thrown in.  “A player, who changes his club every time he is frustrated or when he doesn’t win a trophy, goes nowhere”.  He might as well have channeled Doc Hudson and added “What’s a trophy anyway? It’s just an empty cup!”.
  • “Will Barca Win the Liga Next Year?” questions an article, even as Bojan is still struggling to get over his hangover from celebrating this year’s Liga win. It’s a good thing they didn’t ask Pep though. “I have told the players this might be their last Champion League Final” he revealed in today’s press conference. And then people wonder why some of our players look unhappy sometimes. It’s a minor miracle they aren’t all being treated for clinical depression.
  • “I have the Barca Colors inside me” says Marc Marquez, Moto2 bike rider. The red is understandable, but blue?! Someone ought to consult a doctor just to be sure.
  • “Messi gained 3.3M FB fans this week, Ronaldo ‘only’ 416K” says the Independent, in what we assume to be a particularly slow news day. But we are sure goal.com will not let themselves be outdone so eaily like this. We fully expect a headline from them that goes “A detailed investigation into Messi’s and Cristiano’s wardrobe reveals Cristiano might own more pairs of jeans than the Barca player”
  • Sir Alex Ferguson thinks twitter is a waste of time and is considering a ban, according to ESPN. He will also follow this up with a ban on his players wearing anything blue because he really REALLY cannot stand the color.
  1. CuléForLife says:

    THIS IS EPIC! In particular, I love your references to goal.com’s *hemhem* completely unbiased and neutral articles.
    “10M Euros and Xavi’s cat” haha I wouldn’t doubt that Cesc would be willing to come back even with that, but Arsenal… ~le sigh~

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