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We are told that the silly season has officially started. Not quite sure what this means, because we’re used to being silly all through the year, and it isn’t quite right that silliness should be seasonal. Oh well. Anyway, considering this relates to just transfer rumors, here are eight suggestions from us as to how Barca should spend it’s hard-earned money during this summer.
- In keeping with our tradition of buying at least one overpriced player per year at an insane amount and then selling him the very next year at 30% of initial cost, I think we ought to buy someone from Chelsea this year, you know, just for a change. Maybe Ancelotti, I hear he’s very good and he’s not wanted? What do you mean – that’s not possible? Oh, he’s a coach? Never mind then. What about Torres? Yes, Torres would fit the bill perfectly! Let’s buy Torres by all means. I propose spending 60M on him, just so we can sell him at 18M next year. Perfect.
- There are talks of Aguero coming to Barca, but I think that’s a big mistake. Only Argentina players with last name starting with M are welcome in our squad. Unless Aguero is willing to adopt his wife’s maiden name and become Sergio Maradona…that would work.
- We are buying Cesc Fabregas of course! We do every summer anyway, until the silly season ends at least. Fabregas doesn’t come cheap, and it would set a precedent for Wenger taking young talent from La Masia and selling them back to us at inflated prices a few years later, which will no doubt appeal to our appalling business sense. A win-win situation all around.
- We hear Pep wants to buy Rossi too. Rossi tweets about dropping soda on his blackberry and getting chased by bulls, we’re sure he will fit right in at Barca. He plays decent football too, which is always a plus when signing a new player.
- Pastore. The timing is key here. Zamparini goes through cycles of Phase 1: “Pastore is not for sale! Are you kidding me?!”, Phase 2: “We might sell Pastore for 100M”, Phase 3:”We are shopping for a Pastore replacement, you can have him for free” and then back to Phase 1. The key is to wait patiently for when the Palermo boss is in the right phase and then act swiftly. Just to be sure, we mean phase 3, though we’re aware Barca is more likely to jump on phase 2. Oh wait, his last name doesn’t start with M! Bummer.
- We can let Maxwell, Jeffren and Milito walk away for free for their services to the club.
- … to read the rest of the post, go to Football Mood.