Yet Another Head-to-Head: Messi vs Neymar

Posted: June 10, 2011 in footballmood
Tags: , ,

This is our post on FootballMood. Read the entire post here.

“Neymar is just like Messi” says Wagner Ribeiro, Neymar’s agent, “Soon he’ll be the best in the world because he’s a player unlike any other”. Which is a bit confusing because how can Neymar be ‘just like Messi’ and yet be ‘a player unlike any other’? Oh well. There’s a cardinal rule in any sport. When the agent tells you how wonderful their player is, take it with a bucketful of salt. But there’s no doubt Neymar is a special talent, and this statement immediately piqued our interest. So we’ve been sitting around bored, twiddling our fingers, and reading one absurd transfer rumor after another, so what better thing to do than churn out another of those head-to-heads right? No? Well, too bad for you, but we just wanted to see for ourselves how similar the two players are. And here goes.

Inspiring New Defense Methodologies

The success Ramos and Pepe have had against Messi has inspired a whole new defense methodology, a new school of thought if you may, often referred to by the experts as the “Squat On the Attacker” move. In this move, the defender, as you might have guessed, squats on the attacker, thereby rendering the attacker immobile. It usually helps if the attacker is slight of frame. It might not be a good idea to squat on Ibra, for example, unless you want a Taekwondo kick up your jaw and your teeth floating around in your brain.

Has Neymar ever been sat on by men in white? Not that we know of, but he might have to wait till Brazil plays Spain or Portugal for Ramos, Pepe or Xabi to do the needful. (thanks to ellabarca for the picture)

Hair Styling

Leo Messi’s mop of unruly hair is known to be the despair of the hair gel industry which harbors no hope of making any revenue out of him. His hair somehow grows right back overnight after mowing through the foliage with a pair of garden scissors, just like Harry Potter. You can empty tubs of Villa’s Special Strength Hair Gel into it with no perceptible effect. As for Neymar, he sports a mohawk that could make Cristiano Ronaldo blush with shame at his own inadequacy in this department. Some people might refer  to this as the “I put my finger in the power socket” look (*cough* MissPharaoh *cough*), but mere words cannot express its creative awesomeness. Genius!

Scaring Referees Out of their Wits

Neymar’s prowess in this area is unmatched, and includes wearing an upside-down mask of his own face during a Copa Libertadores match. Shortly after the referee recovered from the sudden shock of seeing one his players with his neck attached to the wrong end of his head, he sent Neymar off with a red card. Has Messi ever done anything quite so scary? We don’t think writing a message on his undershirt wishing his mommy happy birthday counts.

The Art of Lifting Heavy Objects

Neymar is clearly the most accomplished here, it is no mean feat to lift Pele. Has Leo Messi ever lifted Pele? It is rumored that he did get close once but barely managed to escape with bite marks in his ankle. The biggest thing Messi has ever lifted is the Champions League Cup, and that is not quite as distinguished (Thanks to BarcaTheOffside for the pic).

This is our post on FootballMood. Read the entire post here.


  1. nlovers says:

    oh…this site is really wonderful, sky is blue, neymar is overated and overhyped.

  2. Messi2 says:

    Messi tu es le meilleur

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