Barca Unofficial Transfer Press Release for Today

Posted: June 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

Sport: Three hospitals around Camp Nou have all been alerted to be ready for medical checkups for certain signings next week. It is believed that Barcelona will sign three players on July 2nd – Sanchez, Rossi and … Rooney! Ferguson is willing to let Rooney go in a straight exchange for Jeffren, Zubiza is flying tomorrow to convince Jeffren to join Manchester United (but Jeffren is still reluctant). Fabregas will be signed only on July3rd owing to ongoing negotiations with Arsenal (Wenger wants current Barca B team in exchange). Sanchez will be skipping Copa America to sign for Barcelona and to take a tour of the city. Rossi is just very happy.

Pozzo: We will not consider letting Sanchez go for anything less than 40M. He is greater than Cristiano Ronaldo was at the same age, and you have to remember how much Real Madrid signed Ronaldo for. My asking price of 45M is nothing in comparison. If Barcelona wait till next year, Sanchez will be worth 90M, so why not just pay 50M and get him this year instead? I mean, they paid an exhorbitant amount for Ibra, 55M for Sanchez is nothing. I hope we can finalize the deal with Barcelona for 60M today.

Pastorello (Rossi’s Agent): It now appears highly unlikely Barcelona will sign Rossi. They have not contacted us in five weeks now. I left six voice messages yesterday, but no reply. No not to Barcelona, to Rossi. If they want Sanchez, fine, but whatever Sanchez can do, Rossi can also do. In addition, Rossi can also get chased by bulls and drop mobile phones into hot soup, which I very much doubt Sanchez can do. Barcelona must weigh their decisions. I am not running the club, but if I were Rosell (which I’m thankfully not), I know who I will sign.

Felicevich (Sanchez agent): “The deal is close to being done” said the elephant with a butterfly up its trunk.

Pele: Barcelona should just sign me. Even at this age, I can score more goals than Messi can for them. I also give interesting press conferences in addition. Have you ever listened to Messi speak? Bleh.


  1. pavan says:

    Wenger wants current Barca B team in exchange——-Genius 😀

  2. Meisme says:

    I just love every single one of your articles

  3. fcbfandrivel says:

    Thanks Meisme & Pavan! Glad you liked the piece. 🙂

  4. Jahnawi says:

    hating pele right now. he might be a great, but he cannot just insult the greatest player of our generation.. btw, gr8 piece, as usual..

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