Cesc (Arsenal): “Will I go to Barcelona? Yes, on holiday (laughs).”
Thus begins the blockbuster summer entertainment package that is the “Cesc to Barcelona” annual event. The script has become all too predictable over the years, but with the sheer number of players involved in this drama, it remains enticing as ever. Here is how this year’s version is proceeding.
Catalan Press: “The summer transfer window has opened. Cesc will be our first signing!”
English Press To Xavi: “Do you want Cesc to come to Barcelona?”
Xavi: “Sure, why not?”
To Villa: “Do you want Cesc to come to Barcelona?”
Villa: “That will be nice, I am very fond of Fabregas”
HEADLINE: “Xavi and Villa Want Fabregas to come to Barcelona!”
Blogs: Classless Barcelona players!
Fabregas (plucking rose petals): Arsenal…Barcelona…Arsenal…Barcelona…
Catalan Press: “Arsene Wenger sneezed in yesterday’s press conference! Surely that’s a sign that Fabregas is coming!”
Arsenal Board Member (secretively to Rosell): We might be willing to let Cesc go for 60M.
Rosell: 60M?!!! We have only 35M!
Board Member: 35M?! Are you kidding us?!
Rosell: B-but, we’ve already exhausted the savings from switching to B&W photocopies! We’re planning on turning off lights at 9 PM, and that should generate substantial savings. We will contact you again in er…20 years. Pep will understand.
(Pep on vacation, playing golf)
Wenger: Fabregas loves Arsenal more than he loves his mother. I just know it. Now I’m waiting for him to realize it.
Catalan Press: “Fabregas plans to fast in front of Sagrada Familia to show Wenger his intentions!”
English press to Messi (in the middle of Copa America): “Do you want Fabregas to come to Barcelona?”
Messi: “Barcelona? No I’m not Catalan, I’m definitely Argentine. I love the blue and white!”
Fabregas (still plucking rose petals): …Arsenal …Barcelona …Arsenal …Barcelona…
Rosell: “We would like Fabregas to come, but the water has to flow to the river. No sorry…the river has to flow to the sea. Er…Something. Pep will understand.”
(Pep on vacation, photographing turtles)
…continued on FootballMood.