First, I want to deny that I wrote any letter to you, the Argentina people, after the debacle also known as Copa America. I also want to deny that I wrote a letter to AFA harshly criticizing them for cancelling the Romania friendly. Just to make it absolutely clear, I don’t usually spend whatever little vacation time I have writing letters. I really do have better things to do. Like lying down on my couch and dreaming about running after Batista with a hatchet. It’s a very cathartic exercise taught to me by Gabi Milito and it has really helped the team overcome the disappointment of the Copa. You should all try it too, take it from me that it’s rather effective.
Disappointment is a part of football. At least that is what Pep Guardiola messaged me, and he is usually right. So all of us will just have to learn to deal with it, preferably without saying/writing nasty things about me. Just to give you an example, the other day I saw a picture of Carles Puyol at the zoo. The same zoo that he had promised to take me during the season (I was really looking forward to seeing the newly opened penguin section). Was I disappointed? You bet. But we all deal with it and move on.
So please stop saying I’m Spanish and not Argentine. And please stop asking me the same question about Alexis Sanchez. Yes I really do think he is a great player, and he will adapt rapidly to our playing style, and will not change my opinion in the next few hours. Also, it is not true that I wasn’t able to concentrate on Copa America as my Barcelona teammates were constantly calling me up trying to encourage me. And as a final clarification, the tweet Gerard Pique made about seeing my “twin brother” in the airport was a joke, I don’t really have a twin brother who plays for Barcelona. So stop with the conspiracy theories already. Thanks.
Disclaimer: This letter wasn’t really written by Leo Messi. Of course. It might have been written by the twin brother who plays for Argentina though.
Disclaimer 2: Nah. Just kidding.