Of Superstar Teams, Red Lights, Parcheesi and Non News

Posted: November 7, 2011 in Barcelona Offside
Tags: , , , ,

You remember Roberto Carlos revealing grand Anzhi plans to sign Mourinho, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar? He also bizarrely claimed Eto is enjoying his time in Russia because he has always been a Madridista (yes we fail to see the connection too), which at that time we had ascribed to him speaking under the influence of a little too much alcohol perhaps. Well, now Roberto Carlos, bless his optimistic soul, also reveals that the club owner Suleyman Kerimov tried to sign Messi in the summer. What do you think would be the plan after they sign Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar? Well, apart from scoring a LOT of goals of course. A soccer player museum managed by Mourinho perhaps?

Leo...do you know what Andres is trying to do?

Messi has denied any rift with David Villa, as rumored by a Valencia paper. “It really surprised both of us. I have no idea why this story was published. I don’t have a problem with el Guaje, not at all. We get along great, just like we do with the rest of the squad. We remain Mesilla” he says. President Rosell has also hit out at the report that the two players are not on talking terms. “Villa and Messi spent the entire trip back from Prague discussing Greek mythology playing Parcheesi together” said Rosell. And playing Parcheesi might not require a lot of talking, but it is an indication of good will. For instance, would Ibra and Pep fly together from Prague playing Parcheesi together? There. Talking of Ibra…

Pep: "I get the feeling I'm not very loved here"

Ibrahimovic is publishing a new biography, helpfully titled “I am Zlatan Ibrahimovic” in case anyone had doubts, in which he talks about driving and FIAT and Ferrari and something about growing up and playing football we presume, but mainly about FC Barcelona. According to him, “everyone sits (in the dressing room) in silence, well-behaved, almost subdued: Messi, Xavi and Iniesta were like schoolboys who obeyed every command without question. I am a guy who likes those who drive through red lights.” [gazzetta] Naturally wanting to liven up proceedings, Ibra apparently tried throwing kit bags across the room, yelling obscenities at Pep Guardiola and doing the rain dance, but it wasn’t quite appreciated as much as he’d hoped. So when Guardiola stopped talking to him for er…no fathomable reason, Ibra gave up trying to adapt and started writing his biography instead on the bench, before AC Milan rescued him. Now he tries to refrain from yelling at the coach and limits himself to kicking his team mates instead. Lesson learnt.

In other news, a minor miracle has transpired. It is rumored that Xavi will not be traveling to Costa Rica during international break to play in the Spain friendly. The soleus is pleased! The Ballon d’Or nominations are out, and there are 8 Barca players in the list of 23, well 7 considering Cesc just joined this season, but we’ll stick to 8 because logic is much too overrated. The bad news for Xavi is that Xabi is also on the list and we already know FIFA can’t really distinguish between V and B when counting botes, so we are pleased to announce we have a solution.

Finally, as you might know, FC Barcelona has a new website design, go check it out. That’s that. Stay tuned for the Athletic Bilbao game preview, don’t forget to join us in the live blog, and of course, remember to have a good weekend. Here’s us trying to kickstart your to-be good weekend by leaving you with this 12 minute video of all 202 Leo Messi goals so far.

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