Just so you know, Real Madrid is not the only team capable of having dressing room leaks. Whatever Real Madrid can do, Barca can do too. Except apparently winning penalty kicks. Or trampling upon rival players. Or pulling their hair. Or throwing toys out of the crib. Yeah okay, you get the general idea. So coming back to the issue of dressing room leaks, we proudly present a leak from FC Barcelona dressing room, made up in its entirety at FCB Fan Drivel headquarters. Any chances of Marca publishing it, do you think?
Pep to Pique: “You are killing me with all that goodness in that FIFA interview, Geri. Now I feel like I’ll never be able to live up to all your hype., …like I should sit down and explain tactics to you all day just to feel good about myself!”
Pique: “I said more things about you, mister! About how you can read minds and use advanced skills to control them, but those b****rds at FIFA edited it out.”
Pep: “Oh…er…well, that’s good. Besides I’ve not perfected it. I’ve been trying for a long time to get Leo to say “I just want to sit on the bench and watch this game”. Nope, still not working.
Xavi: “You both talking about Leo behind his back, eh?”
Pep: “What were you doing warming up during the game yesterday, Xavi?”
Xavi: “I thought I’d give JDS some company. Besides, I was feeling cold on the bench.”
Pep: “Who made you Tito Vilanova, eh? Unless he shows you a big paper with nicely drawn stick figures, you’re not supposed to leave the bench. Or do you want your eyes poked on Wednesday by MouMou?”
Xavi: “Wednesday is my birthday! I hope you foresee a victory, mister! It would suck not to be superior to Real Madrid on my birthday.
Pique:”Talking of Wednesday, I think you should start Puyol and Masche at the back. And deploy me as the center forward. I have been studying some videos, and I think I know how to get us a lot of penalty kicks!”
Pep: “What?! I just hypnotized you last Tuesday! Man, this is wearing off too early…and Rosell keeps troubling me to extend for another year! Now repeat after me…”I am a center back. I am not a forward”….